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Our BIG miracle in a tiny package

I apologize in advance, this blog post is going to be a long one. I have had the best of intentions to post more often this summer, but as most of you already know, our baby decided to come a bit early; 4 days after we arrived early. There are so many things to tell, lots of topics to cover, and there will be many pictures as well. So without further ado, here is the summer story.

PART 1- Aiden Anton Hohensee

We left Tanzania on May 22, 2014. That day seems like years ago, another lifetime ago; as many of you with children know, once you have a baby your life before was a different lifetime.  We arrived Friday, May 23, after 22 hours of flying. Sifeli did very well on the plane rides and so did I at 35 weeks pregnant and very sick; which we would later find out. I remember thinking that we would need a good week to adjust to arriving in the USA, and then ready to enjoy the last few weeks of sleeping in, visiting friends, baby showers, all around preparing for our baby girl. 

Before we left Tanzania, I had asked mom to make me an appointment at the women’s clinic. I figured I should have a check up and it was time for the type b strep test. She made one for the possible soonest date, which was Tuesday, 4 days after we had arrived. Mom also had and appointment that day with the ear specialist, so we went together. A little bit of background; I had gone to an appointment at 20 weeks and my blood pressure had been slightly elevated, but the doctor said that I just needed to cut out caffeine and cut back on salt. I was regularly checking my blood pressure after that with bibi Kay’s cuff, and my blood pressure was excellent. Fast forward to May 27, sitting in the doctor’s office, with a blood pressure or 140/100. WOW where did that come from? They started asking me questions about how I had been feeling, any headaches? Seeing stars or blurred vision? Pain in the right side? Excessive swelling of you face, hands, or ankles/feet? No, no, no, and a little in the ankle feet region. They decided to send me next door for blood and urine testing anyways,  just to make sure. I was given to possible outcomes for the evening, one was that it was just high blood pressure brought on by pregnancy and I would need to be on bed rest for the remainder of the pregnancy, or two it was preeclampsia and I would be having a baby that night. 

I headed next door for the testing, the whole time thinking they were all overreacting, I mean I didn’t feel bad, and I had answered no to all of their questions. I made a quick pit stop in my mom’s appointment to let her know where I was, and to come over when she was finished.  They hooked me up to this machine right away to monitor the baby’s heart rate and then came to draw blood. My blood pressure continued to increase, I remember a reading of 180/120. The blood/urine sample came back with a diagnosis of “all over the place”. I was having that baby that night and as soon as they could get me to St. Vincent’s. I honestly still believed that everyone was just over reacting and things were not that bad, I even though I would be able to ride in the car with my mom and sister to the hospital; but things were that bad, and I was going by ambulance. Sifeli was at the house with dad and Tyler, but he was asleep. I sent a text to dad’s phone in Swahili, telling Sifeli our baby was coming tonight and he needed to come with them to the hospital. They continued to try and stabilize my blood pressure before they would allow me leave in an ambulance. Once it was at the appropriate level they sent me out. I just remember thinking that this was all so silly, and so not necessary. 

When we arrived at the hospital there was a team all ready for an emergency cesarean section. I already had one IV, but they needed to add a second one, which proved to be a difficult task. She made four attempts on my left side before going to my right and trying two more times before there was a success. My blood platelets were dropping and the last reading they gave me was around 30,000; a normal person has 150,000 to 450,000. They started to take blood from me because they were worried there would be problems getting me to stop bleeding and this would be the easiest and fastest way to re stock me if needed. Due to the incredibly high emergency they were going to need to put me out for the surgery, which meant no one was allowed to be in the room with me. My family went out to the waiting area and I headed back for surgery. I remember the thing I was worried about most was getting the catheter put in! I transferred myself in between beds once we got to the place of surgery and there were lots of people moving around the room getting things ready. They were talking me through things and asking me questions about Tanzania to keep me busy until it was time. Then they gave me the anesthesia and I was out. 

The first thing I saw when they woke me was 4 faces looking down at me, but everyone was so blurry. They were calling my name and telling me it was time to wake up. I opened my eyes and asked them in Swahili if I already had the baby. As I was speaking Swahili I remember thinking, “why am I asking in Swahili? They have no idea what I am saying.” After I said it I sort of laughed and said “I guess you guys don’t speak Swahili.” They all laughed and said no, then told me I had had a boy. I just laughed and thought it went well with the theme of the day, surprise. 

Just born

 They wheeled me into the recovery room first and we were all laughing and talking down the hall. They said that everything went beautifully and he was doing just fine, weighing in at 3lbs 4 oz. I went into the recovery room first, I remember being really thirsty and just sucking on lots of ice cubes, coming in and out of sleep. Aiden was officially born at 10:07PM, I was able to see him around 2AM. They wheeled me into the NICU in my bed so that I could see him before going to my room. He had all sorts of tubes and things coming off of him but he was here, and he was small. 

The next two days were a bit of a blur, but I remember the day after he was born I just wanted to go see him. I was not able to leave the room until 6PM. With my crazy high pain tolerance, and the fact that I never realized I was so sick, I just couldn’t understand the fuss everyone was making. I felt fine, I wanted them to stop the narcotics because they made me loopy, and I wanted to get out of this bed and go see my baby. They made me take it slow getting up, but I was able to sit up on the side of my bed just fine, and then able to stand just fine, and even able to walk a few steps to my wheelchair just fine. They finally wheeled me down to the NICU so that I could see my baby. 

First time holding my baby

We get down there and they take this tiny little human being out of the incubator, connected to all sorts of machines, all these cords coming off of him, and they placed him in my arms. They told me that he had only need the breathing machines for less than 12 hours, and that they were really only a precaution because he was able to breath just fine on his own.  He was also being moved to the other NICU, which means that he was doing so well he didn’t need the high risk one he was currently in. My 3lb baby was able to breath all on his own. 

I had to return to my room to meet with the lactation nurse, they had to start getting my body to realize it was time to produce milk. They introduced me to the pumping machine, my new best friend for every two hours, every day, for the next couple of months.

Aiden's first diapers

First family photo

Aiden with all of his tubes

They encouraged me to take it slow but I was doing so well that they removed the catheter that night, and I was able to walk myself to the bathroom. I spent a lot of time sleeping, a lot of time pumping, a lot of time getting my blood pressure tested, and taking medicine to lower it. It was a very frustrating first couple of days. Everyone kept telling me that I needed to get better, I needed to slow down, I needed to give myself a chance to heal, and the whole time I had a baby that I had barely seen, and only help a couple of very brief times. Every morning a doctor would come in and say, “wow, do you have any idea how sick you were?” And every day I would shake my head and they would say how amazed they were that I had made it just in time. I later found out that I was just days or so away from dying, that my organs were shutting down, I was THAT sick. Everyone kept saying that it was a miracle that we made it to the states in time, how lucky we were, God was really watching out for us; but I like to think that God had planned it all this way, I mean of course he had. He knew that I was going to be so sick, but what was the point of me knowing it and worrying, he knew that I would make it to the doctor in time even if there were only days to spare, he was in control. 

Feeding tube

Bottle feeding

Jaundice bed

Aiden was in the hospital for 17 days. He was doing so well, so quickly, he was just small. His nurses all told me that he had no idea he was that small because he was so feisty. After I was checked out of the hospital I went back every day for 12 hours a day. Aiden started with the following things; breathing machines, feeding tube, IV, heart rate monitors, oxygen monitor, and the incubator to help regulate body heat. He was off the breathing machines in less than 12 hours, The IV he had for a week but once his blood sugars leveled out they removed that, he was regulating his own body temperature in about a week, he had some jaundice which was gone in 24 hours, he was doing so well. He left the hospital weighing in at 3lbs 12oz. He had to ride in a “car bed” until he was big enough for a regular car seat. 

Going home!

Now Aiden is 4 months old!! His last weight was in the states was 10lbs 11.6oz!  He is more than 3 times his starting weight! His nurses in the nicu always said that he had no idea how small he was, he was that feisty. He just continues to grow and he is hitting all of his milestones at his actual age not his adjusted age (from his birthdate, not his due date). They said he gets an extra month to do everything; he isn’t going to even need it.

Aiden with a preemie outfit on top of him.

Aiden at 10lbs 11.6oz

 Here is an idea of how small Aiden was, using the same pacifier.

Still in the NICU, around 3 pounds

The 4lb range

5lbs 4oz

 

3months around 9lbs

Part 2: Trip to America

I remember before leaving Tanzania I was saying that we were going to need at least a week to adjust to the change of environment, especially Sifeli. I was so excited for my last month or sleeping in, excited to visit family and friends, excited to share my home with Sifeli. Of course you already know the story, we were only allowed 4 days in America before Aiden decided to come along. The story is that Aiden was tired of everyone calling him a girl. Actually it’s kind of perfect he came when he did, Lindsay and I were going to plan “her” baby shower that evening, which means that Aiden was going to be dressing like a girl for a VERY long time. 

After the baby stuff settled down and Aiden got out of the NICU, we were able to do “normal” things again. I took Sifeli to the movie theatre for the first time and we left Aiden with mom and dad. Half way through the movie he wanted to leave because he was concerned about Aiden. (We didn’t but it was cute.) 

We (dad, mom, Sifeli, Aiden, and I) went to the coast for the day. We took Sifeli to Dory Cove (best clam chowder EVER), and also to Depoe Bay, and the aquarium at Newport. When we were at Depoe Bay there were around 3 whales in site. Sifeli not only got to see an ocean, but he was able to see a giant fish! At the aquarium Sifeli liked the sea lion the most. He (the sea lion) jumped up on a rock and was honking and moving around, putting on a show. Also the octopus was pretty interesting, moving around his tank. 

We were even able to squeeze a trip in up to Mt. Hood. Sifeli has never seen snow in his life, and he was able to see and touch snow. He was also able to ride the ski lift, which he was not fond of and wanted to walk back down! 

Sifeli worked all summer and made enough money for us to build a house and then have enough money to last us quite awhile. The house building is a lot of work and we have to do it quickly before the rainy season starts or we have to wait until next summer. One of his family members (who is very wealthy) already started buying us supplies (bricks) for the house! 

Sifeli learning to fish

Grandma and Granddad Wards 50th

On the dock at suttle lake

Sifeli helping grandma and Aunt Connie make dinner while camping.

Tyler and Sifeli.

Family picture, after we exchanged our vows!

It was such a wonderful trip home to see everyone! I got back into the groove of life in America and in a lot of ways it was hard to come back here; not that I didn’t miss the kids because I did, but It’s a hard place to be stuck in, loving two places equally; having two families that you love more than words. I am just glad that I got to spend the first 3 months of mother hood with my family, having more help than I could ask for, still having freedom to see people and do things, and who doesn’t love an Oregon Summer?  

Some things I've grown to love about Africa

I feel it is appropriate to reflect on all the things about Africa that I love, since I am leaving for 3.5 months. I have officially been in Tanzania for a year and a half now; a year and a half of many changes, many ups, many downs, a year and a half of decisions both good and bad, a year and a half of growing and learning, a year and a half of building a life and it doesn’t stop here.  The changing has only just begun, the hard times, the good times, the learning, this is where it all begins. My days of traveling alone have ended, I will forever have a travel companion now, be it my fiancé Sifeli or my coming daughter; there will always be someone with me. For most people this may be a comfort, but I have always preferred the traveling alone bit, no one to worry about but yourself, only one schedule to plan around; fortunately I live in Africa, the best place to learn the true meaning of patience, a skill which will be put to great use. 

As I prepare for a trip back to America, a place that holds many pieces of my heart, I am bringing two huge pieces with me from a place that holds many pieces as well. My two worlds are coming together, my two lives (is how it feels sometimes) are colliding, my family and roots with my new family. People that I have loved my whole life are now going to come into contact with someone I have chosen to love, someone I have learned to love, someone who has created half of this small human growing inside of me. I have started to feel increasingly emotional over all the new things that are coming, and I think I have hormones to thank for that. As the time comes closer to meet the little one inside of me that I already feel I know, I feel the ache to hold her for the first time. To finally have her in my arms, to look into her face, to know that she is God given and God chosen, and knowing that there is nothing more beautiful than that. While there are harder days to come, days that will feel never ending, days that will feel impossible to finish, days that will make me want to run and hide, there will also be days of beauty. There will be days filled with laughter, and joy, days when she first rolls over or sits up, days when she learns her first words or takes her first steps, days that are God given.

“To be honest, my heart often still aches. For these and other close friends and family still spread across the globe. Sometimes I feel as though my heart is scattered in a hundred pieces, with the people and places God brought into my life and I into theirs, for a time. A time I often thought was too short.”

-http://www.stpetersfireside.org/2014/04/hearts-full-hands-open-adieu/

As the time approaches for us to take that first official step towards our new life, that first official step on the plane, a world of first awaits for Sifeli and I am excited to be along for the ride; seeing him experience everything for the first time forces me to really see things for the first time as well. Not only in the life I have always known but in my new life here as well. He will now understand the differences, the things I cannot even begin to explain. He will experience the things I experience here every day; language difficulties, cultural differences, environmental differences, a new world. While I have been preparing my whole life to leave my home and head to the other side of the world, he has never considered stepping more than 500 miles outside his. I know I have mentioned before how he is the only Tanzanian I would ever have to convince to come to America, and I am not joking. While this seems like everyone’s dream, to him it’s a nightmare, a nightmare he is going to live through, the boy could use a little shaking up, but a nightmare full of unknowns none the less.

As I pack up our stuff into neat piles and prepare for another trip between my worlds I think about all the things I love about this place. It’s the simplicity of the life that really entices you. It’s the days that are filled with work to survive, not to become rich, it’s the food that you eat knowing your hands are the ones that worked the earth it grew in, it’s the washing clothes by hand, the spending hours to cook a simple meal of potatoes and vegetables for your family, it’s the welcoming everyone and anyone into your home and sharing what little you have, it’s the sense of community, it’s only having things that you need, and learning what a true need is.

As I pack our stuff up and prepare for our journey a mouse jumps out of my bag and runs away, after a moment of panic (luckily no premature labor) I just have to laugh. I no longer see things the same way, I no longer see this room as a place I would never step foot in in the states, while it’s not my American self-standards of a good room, there really isn’t anything wrong with it; clean sheets, towel, swept, mopped, and a new bar of soap every morning. It has working electricity, working shower, working fan, and to top it all off it only costs $9.  Our favorite place to eat is next door; Chipsi kuku or French fries and chicken.  Once again it is not a place I would likely ever eat at in the states. There are a few cock roaches running around, a cat that comes and goes freely begging for food, they wash plates in a tub of water without soap (as far as I can tell), but they serve the best chicken and for a cost of only $1.80 there really isn’t much to complain about. One day Sifeli and I are eating there and just talking with the staff when they start to get very busy. They are all up working and soon I am handed the baby to feed and Sifeli is helping to skewer meat. Yesterday this lady comes selling fresh juice from used soda bottles and of course I had to buy one. It’s the times I went to the only milk factory in town and there were ants and cock roaches running around the counter top; or the mice running along the edges of some of our nicer dining areas. (Dirty dining would have a field day in this country.) It’s the times in the village where they never use silverware and you are the only one who looks like an idiot eating rice with your hands, everyone else makes it look flawless and does so gracefully. It’s my new life and I love it more and more every day, not to mention it’s half of where my coming daughter is from.

I had my first official family get together with my Tanzanian family last weekend. While I had met many of them on different occasions, this was the first time I was meeting them, as one of them. One of the things with Tanzanian culture is family involvement is almost 100% in each other’s lives. We went to his family to tell them we were going to America, asking for their blessing in a sense. They all received me with open arms, but first they wanted to know what the price for me would be. After jokingly asking how many goats they would be willing to give my father (Tanzanians don’t joke), we told them there would be no price. They basically all wanted to give Sifeli a piece of advice for America, and while they all said the same things, everyone had to have their say. They told him to behave; I told them no problem my dad was a police officer, they told him to work hard to help my parents, to learn English as much as he could, and the best piece of advice; to listen to EVERYTHING I told him! That’s right I get to be the boss and his family was the one who made it that way! After much discussion over the same things we all ate potatoes together, as a family. This was a special event and they even supplied spoons to use. Seems like such a simple and ordinary thing, but it was a very special thing for them to supply. They also worked very hard to use only Swahili as much as possible, and that alone is the nicest and hardest thing for them to do, especially in a family setting where their first language would come so easily. That alone made me feel treasured and welcomed.

The kids are all doing well at Sunrise. IN addition to our new milk cow, we also have 30 more chickens. We are growing fast and not taking no for an answer. Once again it was hard to say goodbye to the kids. Even though I have already proved to them that I will return, they had doubts this time again. They kept telling me not to leave, but I reassured them I was returning, and yes baby Avery is coming with me. Jeneti, our oldest and the one who is graduating in September, was concerned that I would not make it for her graduation. I told her she is the whole reason we are coming back when we are, and that brought a smile to her face. She said she wants to live with me after she finishes school and help with her baby sister. I have a feeling that their break times from Sunrise are going to mean that we have a full house of children on a regular basis, something I cannot be upset about. These children are so beautiful and I would take them in anytime, especially when they are all offering to help wash diapers!

We are down to a countdown of hours now, leaving for the airport in just 3 hours, leaving Tanzania in 6. Home tomorrow morning at 11:30AM!  Please be praying for our travels, and Sifeli’s stress level, and mine as well. And hey, see you all stateside!