Anyway

“People are often unreasonable and self-centered,

Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives,

Be kind anyway.

If you are honest, people may cheat you, 

 Be honest anyway.

If you find happiness, people may be jealous,

Be happy anyway.

The good you do may be forgotten tomorrow,

Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough,

Give your best anyway.

For you see, in the end, it is between you and God,

It was never between you and them anyway.”

-Mother Teresa

When I read this quote this week, it was exactly the reminder I needed. Living in a culture where people always assume that “white people” have endless supplies of money, and are constantly asking for that supply, kind of wears you down. Makes you want to be bitter, and shut yourself off from really loving them. I was praying and thinking about it all, and wondering how you decide who really needs it and who is just trying to cheat you. Then I read this and was reminded, “For you see, in the end, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.” Duh! It’s not about the world, it’s about God, and it’s about showing his Love. Sometimes that means that people cheat you, and sometimes that means that people take advantage of you, but in the end does that change the reason you were willing to give in the first place? Does that change the fact that you love this awesome God, and for some reason he loves us back, and all he is really asking of us is to share that love? He doesn’t ask us to not give because we are afraid of being cheated, he asks us to give, give, give, and give. 

“Do not be afraid little flock, for your father has been pleased to give you the kingdom. Sell your possessions and give to the poor. Provide purses for yourselves that will not wear out, a treasure in heaven that will not be exhausted, where no thief comes near and no moth destroys. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”

-Luke 12:32-34

I don’t think that means to not be careful at times, you want your money to go to someone who really needs it; however I think he is saying that we should give, all the time, and if someone cheats us, don’t get angry and bitter, because it was never about them anyway, it’s always about God.

God is really convicting me here, laying it on hard, not holding anything back, and it’s the reason I came here. I came here to learn to love. Learn to love like God calls us to, learn to give, learn to be humble, learn what it means to be filled with the holy spirit, learn to forgive and let go, learn to be the woman God is calling me to be. 

Sometimes I forget why I am here. Sometimes I miss home, and family, and friends, and my life. Sometimes it’s a struggle to be in a place where everything is new, where everything is foreign, where nothing is like home. Sometimes it’s just plain hard and I feel like I am all alone in this place. Then in my devotional it talked about Satan being a mole in our lives. It was about how we start to get really close to God, doing well in our praying and devotionals, and then something threatens that time. Without even noticing our quiet times become a burden or we forget to pray because we are distracted. Just little things over time that take away from God, and therefore we start to lose purpose, and meaning. All of this forced me to think about myself. When I start to doubt my reason for being here, when friends start telling me they miss me, or the exciting things that I am not there for, when I start to shut myself off, when times get hard, I realize those are the times when I have aloud Satan to take me away from my time with God. Those are the weeks when I forget to do my devotional in the morning. Those are the days when I forget to thank God, or reach out to him when things are hard, or turn to him with the aches of my heart. It’s funny that it takes coming to Africa to realize these things.

After last weekend, and the craziness there, this week has been surprisingly smooth. The kids have been great, we have a new staff member and she is wonderful. Things are starting to move forward, in BIG BIG ways, I am so excited to be here and see it happen, help where I can with the transitions, and love on a bunch of kids. We finally have some really awesome pending volunteers!!! There is one in particular that I am especially excited for, she is a children’s Christian counselor, and sounds really passionate about coming here. I am sad that Corrinne will be leaving in June; I really enjoy working with her and have learned a lot. 

This week we celebrated our first birthday!! Tumpe, our oldest child, turned 13 this week. Corrinne and I made chocolate cupcakes, and gave her a necklace. All the children sang happy birthday (a very interesting version of it) and she blew out the one candle we had! It was really fun and she seemed to enjoy having a day set aside for her.

               

Tumpe, opening her present!

I am in love with this life. I have moments where I forget that, but it doesn’t take too long to remember. Every Friday night is movie night, and we watch them on a projector. This week we were waiting for the last few kids to come in and so we had a dance party. We turned up the music and everyone danced around. Sometimes I think that I miss home more than I enjoy being here, and then I am reminded why this life I have been given is so great. At least for this year, I am exactly where I need to be.

Waiting for the movie to start!

March 24 Devotional: Jesus Calling, By Sarah Young

“This is a time in your life when you must learn to let go: of loved ones, of possessions, of control. In order to let go of something that is precious to you, you need to rest in My presence, where you are complete. Take time to bask in the Light of My Love. As you relax more and more, your grasping hand gradually opens up, releasing your prized possession into My care.”

“For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, 

Do not fear; I will help you.”

-Isaiah 41:13

Sunrise Children's Home Website has been updated! Here is the website:

 http://bibikay.com/

2 Year Anniversary!

“…to reverence God requires a certain courage, because honestly facing up to who God is makes me face up to who I am. The more I see of God’s holiness, the more I see my lack of it. The more I see his power, the more I realize my weakness. The more I comprehend the depth of his love, the more I realize the shallowness of my own. Some call this “humility” but by whatever name it is simply facing up to the facts about who God is, and in that light, who I am.”

-June Gunden

I spent the weekend in Njombe, my first one off. It was nice and relaxing, the best part was sleeping in! I got a lot of skype calls in, and just had some time to myself. I missed the kids, but I have to say having zero responsibilities was pretty nice. One of the nights I made dinner for Kayla and I. We found hamburger meat in town so I made the famous bbq mac! It was so delicious and you know, meat!!!! So at about 3 in the morning I woke up and had to use the restroom. I come back to bed and all of a sudden I am really hot, and these horrible stomach pains kick in. I go back to the bathroom and start throwing up. The last time I got this sick was after eating a lot of meat. My body is not used to it, and now when I have a substantial amount I reject it, which makes me really sad, because I love it. The getting horribly sick part aside, it was a really great weekend. 

The next day is shopping day. I still feel a little woozy, almost like a car sick feeling, so I am in for a long day. We go to do our shopping and about half way through it starts to pour. We make a run for it and yet are still soaked, head to toe. We have to wait out the rain before we can finish. (All dirt roads, no pavement, makes it really hard to walk around during/after rain.) When it finally stops it’s around 5pm, so we go finish the last few things and get a taxi home. 

When we finally pull into the orphanage it’s dark, rainy, muddy, and I am exhausted. We get out of the taxi and all of a sudden I hear eleven voices screaming “Court-ta-ney is home!” They all run out of the dining room, through the mud & rain, just to be the first to hug me. I laugh and grab as many of them as I can while keeping my balance. I will never get over these moments. These moments of pure happiness and love. These moments of complete bliss. These moments that are God given. 

Elia & Ima

 Corrinne and I, in our expert cooking skills, have now mastered the Lasagna, the most delicious one that I have ever had. We made the noodles from scratch, the greens from the garden, fresh tomato sauce with meat, complete with lots and lots of cheese. I was a little hesitant to eat meat again, after what happened Monday, but I did and I was fine. It seemed to be a big hit, and something we are going to do again sometime!

Lasagna Baking!

Our momma cat had babies!! There are four of them, one black and orange, one black and gray, and two orange. She had them in a flower bush during the night, so I moved them inside into a box. I didn’t want the kids to bother them and plus when it rains it pours here.  

You know that saying, “the calm before the storm”? That is the best way that I can describe what happened on Saturday. It was a beautiful weekend, sun shining, warm, freshly cut grass, everyone in good spirits, but all good things come to an end and they did on this day. I never even saw it coming; we were having such a good time all day as we were preparing for all the guests on Sunday. It happened as a domino effect, one thing after the other. First the boys wouldn’t come in for dinner when we called, so when they are late for meals they have to sit off to the side and wait until the staff are finished and then we serve them. Next I was moving the table towards me and it hit the bench in front which slowly, but too quickly, landed on my foot; hard, solid, wooden bench, directly on the top of my foot. Of course everyone is in there, and instantly “Sorry, Sorry, Sorry!” Which as everyone knows when you REALLY hurt yourself, the last thing you want/need is everyone trying to check on you at the same time. I hobble out of the dining room as I assure everyone I am “just fine”, and go get some Ibuprofen. I start to check out my foot and notice it growing in front of me and changing color. I can move my toes so I don’t think it’s broken, but it seriously hurts. I wrap it up and head back in to the dining room a smile on my face and a hobble in my step. 

The boys who are in “time out” start to goof off and won’t listen, so now they have gotten soda taken away from them for the next day. I am not sure exactly when “all hell broke loose” but next thing I know Hosea is trying to run away, and since I am hobbling around, Corrinne and the new cook go after him. They literally have to bring him back kicking and screaming the whole way. So they take him to his room and he goes to bed, but is still trying to run, so we have to lock the bedroom door. Then Elia is upset because he wants to buy black shoes in the store, but we don’t have anymore, I tried explaining this to him and he starts to cry. Next Ima just starts crying out of nowhere, so I tell them all to go to bed, knowing that they are all just tired and need a good night of sleep. So I open the door and make them go in. What could possibly happen next you ask? Well, as soon as I close the boys’ door, they all start full on wailing; I’m talking crocodile tears, sobs, basically competing with each other to see who can cry the loudest and hardest. We can hear them all the way in the kitchen, which is in a different building. I can’t help it, somewhere between the foot smashing bench and the crying competition, the only thing left to do is just laugh. What an evening!!

Sunday was our two year anniversary for Sunrise. It was such a nice day and we had around 75 people attend. Corrinne and I taught the kids the “I love you” song from barney. 

“I love you, you love me

We’re a happy family

With a great big hug

And a kiss from me to you

Won’t you say you love me too.”

It was adorable! Bibi Kay introduced everyone, (staff, volunteers, children). It was my first chance to meet all the families and my first introduction to a large group that I am here. (Other than the Lutheran church on my first day.) The party was great, everyone seemed to enjoy themselves. It was short and sweet and we were all wiped out by the end of it. 

Some of the women from the village helping with Dishes!

The Sunrise Crew, minus one Kid.

“Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from your prescence or take your holy spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.” 

 Psalm 51:10-12

Just a picture of awesome road construction in Africa.