Christmas 2013

2013 Christmas Tree (with Gifts)

 This is my second Christmas in Tanzania. While it is hard to be away from all the people i love back home, it is a time of joy here as well. Getting to experience Christmas with the kids and seeing a whole new appreciation and joy in their eyes, is such a beautiful thing. I wouldn't trade it for the world. We did Christmas a little early this year because the kids were heading to their homes on Saturday (Dec 21). I wanted to give them a chance to enjoy their gifts because they would not be taking them to their homes. (Sometimes nice things don't come back.) They received such simple gifts (by American standards) but the joy that it brings these children is so touching. I love to be surrounded by that kind of amazement and wonder, especially when its coming from children who don't have a whole lot, and who have seen such deep sorrow.

Children with their gifts on, Courtesy of employees at Clackamas County Jail.

When the families came to get the children I couldn't help but be sad to see them all go. I just got back, but i know that they love to go home. I know that while their lives at home are not as luxurious as what they receive from Sunrise, they enjoy being back in their roots, and I am so happy that they have a chance to have both lives. That they can be reminded of where they came from and yet know that their futures are bright and I want to give them the world.

Franki, Yona, Eliza, Jeneti, Elisha

As each family came to take their child many of them invited me to their houses for Christmas. I feel truly blessed here and loved, not only by my children but also by their beautiful families who just want to give and give more. This place feels more like home all of the time.

Franki, Elia, Lukemelo, Sesi

I went to the village soccer game on Sunday evening. It was Uhekule vs The taxi Drivers. As i was walking past the field to Kay's house I hear children shouting "Court-ta-ney! Court-ta-ney!" Three of my boys are running across the field towards me as fast as they can. They all reach me and give me big hugs and kisses. It's only been a day since I have seen them, but I can't help but feel the same way. The need to run across the field for some love, even when its been less than 24 hours since I last saw them. That is what my life is like here. Love, all of the time.

Silly Ima

It poured the entire soccer game. I mean every bit of the two hours. I had a small umbrella that 3 of my children were also trying to get under. There were puddles all over the field that the ball often got stopped in, and made for a slip and slide for the players trying to get to it. Everyone was drenched after the game but it was too good to miss. I love living in a village, and having that community. Plus i was able to see a lot of my friends who I hadn't yet seen. What a welcome home.

When I ran into the Village Chief he was very excited to see me. Although he thought I had been in Njombe for six weeks. I told him that i had gone to America and he said, "Pole sana!" (so sorry) and laughed. Oh how I love Tanzania!

I went to Njombe for Christmas, it was time for my new tradition of skyping my family! This year I had a friend to celebrate it with; Angel and Brodyn. We had the brilliant idea of buying chicken and cooking it for Christmas dinner. We were having some friends over from the village and wanted to make it a little more special. That being said you can't buy chicken from the grocery store, already dead, nicely packaged. Nope. What you buy is a live chicken package the Tanzanian way... Legs tied in a black plastic bag. It still moves, it still makes noise, it's still alive. We brought it home and it had managed to get its feet out of the bag and was moving in circles on the living room floor. If Angel and I had to kill it ourselves it would probably still be alive and be our pet, but we had a neighbor do the honors for us. What a beautiful scene it was. Oh Christmas in Tanzania!

I'll be returning to Uhekule in a few days, and the children return on saturday (Jan 4, 2014). Can you believe its almost a new year??

"I didn't think you would come back, but you did!"

I am anxiously awaiting for it to be time to return to Uhekule, to return to my 15 beautiful children. I spent two nights in Njombe because I had been so sick traveling I needed the time to rest. Now it is Monday, the day I return. Kay and I have many things to accomplish in town and spend the day running around from one place to the next. I am so ready to head back I can barely stand it. The longer it takes in town the more I feel that I will never be returning and I will be stuck in this place of waiting, forever.  Of course I am being dramatic and I know that I will be there soon, but the anticipation is killing me. 

On the drive there I am half listening to Kay and half imagining what it’s going to be like when we get to the orphanage. If I am truly honest with my emotions, I am feeling more nervous than anything. All the what ifs are running through my head; what if the kids don’t really care I’m back, what if they forgot about me, what if, what if, what if. All the while just trying to remember to breathe and take in the scenery of the home I have been absent from for 6 weeks. 

As we finally pull in to the road that will take us home my nervousness increases. The orphanage is in site and I don’t see any kids playing outside. I wonder where everyone is as we enter the grounds. When we round the corner I hear fifteen beautiful voices shouting “Court-ta-ney, Court-ta-ney!!!!” They all run out of the building and up to the truck screaming and smiling and jumping up and down. I cannot help the huge smile plastered on my face as my heart bursts with love. I try to open the car door but they are all crowding it, trying to be the first one to hug me. When I am able to step out of the car a huge group hug takes place and soon almost lands us all on our bottoms; each child jumping and reaching and wanting me to grab onto them.  I can barely take in all the faces before me but they are all there, each child, and they remember me. 

After about five solid minutes of just hugging and being with each other again things calmed down. Slowly I am able to hug one at a time, and say each child’s name, and connect with them all again. One girl says to me, “I didn’t think you would come back, but you did.” I grab her and hold her tight and tell her “Of course I came back, I told you I would!” This was my first big promise; this was my first chance to show these children that I would come back to them; that even though I went far away and was gone a long time I would return, because they are my home now. 

I ate dinner with my kids, we sat around and read stories and I asked them about what I missed, and they asked me about America, and it just felt like a normal evening in Uhekule. My heart was just so full of love, and joy, and I couldn’t quite wrap my mind around it all. I looked around the dining room and all the kids were sitting there, some were on my lap, some were doing my hair, one was reading me a book, some were playing uno, some were putting puzzles together, and I Just couldn’t shake the smile off my face. I was home. 

Each morning this week started with the children being almost surprised and excited all over again that I was there. I was back in the land of being hugged and kissed every five minutes!

However the first day I was back tragedy struck someone very near and dear to all of us at Sunrise. One of our Tanzanian helpers, Leida, received a phone call that her sister was very sick and in the hospital. She was going to go that night to be with her and help where she could. The next morning we were told that her sister passed away during the night. It was all very sudden, she hadn’t been noticeably sick, and she has a daughter who is only six years old. She had been complaining of some leg pain for some time, and the doctor’s said that she had bone cancer, but it was too late for anything to help her, and she passed away in the night. Our hearts broke and they still ache for Leida and her family, so please keep them in your prayers. I took the children to the funeral to give their love and support to Leida. It’s so hard to remember that death is a part of life and that it could happen at any time. How precious this life is that we have been given. I want to try to remember that as I go through this life;  I want to remember how much I need to cherish the people in my life and that every day is a gift that I have been given. I want to remember to laugh and love and smile. 

I have to be honest being back hasn’t been everything I thought it was going to be, I am kind of in a funk. It’s not that I don’t want to be here, because I do more than anything. It’s not that I am not happy, because I am. It’s not that I love these kids less, because I think I love them even more (if that’s possible). It’s just that I want to sit in my room and just be alone with me, myself, and I. Maybe I just need some time to reacquaint myself with this life.  Maybe I have gotten cocky and assumed that since I am happier this time around I need God less; when truthfully I need him even more now. I am headed into my second year of living in Tanzania, and now I know what to expect from certain things. I know how things are going to be working, and while I still have an endless list of things to learn, I am going in with some knowledge this year of what to expect. But as I am sure all of you with children know, there are some things you can’t anticipate, things are bound to happen and change, and they keep you on your toes. That Is the beauty of children. So while the other stuff feels like a repeat at least I have the kids to keep life spicy and new. 

That is what I am trying to focus on, the children, and the beauty that they hold. I am back to being mother to some, and Court-ta-ney to most. I am back to children jumping and climbing on me. Back to snot trails and dirty footprints on my clothes. Back to super hero band aids, and ouchies that can only be healed by me. Back to being laughed at as I try to speak Kibena (the tribal language). `I am back to being needed by fifteen little ones. Back to the best possible version of my life that I can imagine. 

"Create in me a pure heart oh God and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit to sustain me."

Psalm 51:10-12

Once again thank you for all of your love and support. I cannot even begin to show my appreciation for all the kind words, and emails of "Just thinking of you". And like always Karibu Sana! (Welcome)

Made it back to Tanzania

Flying back into DAR and this time I know that there is something better coming. I know that there is a place a twelve hour bus ride away, 6,000 feet up, where 15 of the most beautiful children live and are waiting for my return. I know that this place means happiness and love and that 15 hugs and millions of kisses are in store for me. I'm not afraid this time around, I know what I have committed to and I know this is my little slice of heaven.

While this bus trip was by far the worst one I have had yet, (sick the whole trip back) I am so excited and eager to get to the orphanage. I still haven't made it there yet, leaving here soon to head home! I will post more next week! We have a fun weekend full of gifts and birthdays and lots of excitement!

The trip back home was nice, and relaxing, and now i have this whole new appreciation for the things I grew up with and now no longer have. My favorite thing was probably the washing machine. You never know how good it is to have one until you wash all your clothes by hand in buckets for a year. But i can't complain too much, the people here have done it their whole lives.

It was hard to leave home again, lots of tears, I read a quote once that kind of says it all:
"You will never be completely at home again, because part of your heart will always be elsewhere. That is the price you pay for the richness of loving and knowing people in more than one place."
-girlgi.com

Well it's time to head back and see all my crazy kids! Thanks for all the continued prayers and support!

Home Sweet Home

Newest Picture with all of the Kids.

It’s been one year since I arrived in Tanzania; one year since I stepped off the plane and into a new life. And now I am going back; back to my family, back to my friends, back to the only life I had ever known until this past year. My year in Tanzania has been full of growing, and changing, and learning, and now I get to go and share that with everyone that I love back home. It was hard to tell the kids goodbye, I only cried in the taxi. I know that they will still be there when I return, and that I get to have them for many more years to come, it made it easier to step on that plane. 

It took me 48 hours to get back to Oregon. First I had a twelve hour bus ride, then one ten hour plane, another ten hour plane, and then the last one and half hour plane. I haven’t had much reverse culture shock, which I am very thankful for. While everything is louder, faster, and crazier than my life in Uhekule, I seem to have adjusted back quite nicely. The only thing I am struggling with is that everyone is driving on the wrong side of the road and car and it’s stressing me out! Luckily my license expired in TZ so I haven’t driven yet for myself. (Probably safer that way!) I have been waking up earlier and earlier each morning; first it was 5am, then 4:30am, and this morning was 3:40am. Hopefully that will stop soon, I do enjoy my sleep.

It’s great to be back home and with my family. It almost feels like no time has gone by and Africa is just a dream. Weird how being in an entirely different environment does that. I also keep wanting to speak Swahili to everyone. I did tell a lady in San Francisco “Asante” which is “Thank you” in Swahili, she gave me a very strange look. 

Food is a bit of an adjustment. So far I get a little sick to my stomach after everything I eat. My diet in TZ consists of fruit, vegetables, and that’s about it. But I am very happy to be eating pickles again, I had a delicious salad, lunch meat is great, I just need to have a nice juicy steak. 

Well some updates from Tanzania, before I left:

We have had a few birthdays; Ima turned 10, Lukemelo turned 9, and we celebrated Yona’s 9th & Emma’s birthday while I was still in TZ.

Ima's Birthday

Lukemelo's Birthday

Yona & Emma's Birthday

We finally finished planting our potato crops. I won’t be there for the corn planting but the field is all ready and prepped for that. I have a big project waiting for me when I return. I’ve decided to work on expanding our garden, A LOT. I want to plant basically everything that we eat, except for fruit. It will only save about 10,000/= TSH a week, but that will add up over time, plus we’ll have it in our backyard! 

The kids are all wonderful, as usual. I think we are truly blessed with 15 of the best kids in Uhekule, totally not biased or anything. Lately about half of them have started to call me “mother”. It’s kind of neat that I get to be a constant in these kids life, for some of them the first and only they’ve had. While it’s an intimidating realization, I also love these kids more than anything, and that gives me the motivation that I need to keep going strong. 

For our Tanzanian version of Halloween we carved watermelons and watched a movie. The kids thought it was one of the funniest things they had ever seen, like all of the crazy American traditions that I have introduced to them. We had a lot of fun putting faces on our watermelons and eating the insides, and putting the candle inside was good for a laugh. 

My Example

Sesi

Elenesta, Elisha, Elia

Tumpe

Elia

Eating the Insides! Tumpe & Akwirino.

Half the kids: Tumpe, Priksa, Akwirino, Franki, Ziadia, Yona, Elia

I’ll be finishing the children’s profiles while I am here, and hopefully will be able to find sponsors for all of them too. That’s my big mission while I am back here this trip. I think my parents are planning an open house, and I hope to have a ‘try Tanzanian type food night’ too. 

Thanks for all your continued support and prayers, lots of big changes happening and it’s all very much so needed!