The point of it all

“I get this feeling sometimes that after the world ends, when God destroys all our buildings and our flags, we will wish we had seen everybody as equal, that we had eaten dinner with prostitutes, held them in our arms, opened our spare rooms for them and loved them and learned from them. I was just another stupid child in the flow, you know: I didn’t know any of these things. I didn’t know it didn’t matter what a person looked like, how much money they made or whether or not they were cool. I didn’t know that cool was just a myth and that one person was just as beautiful and meaningful as another. “

 -Donald Miller

I wonder what the point of our time here is. I wonder what God really means when he tells us to “love your neighbor as yourself”. I wonder what is most important as Christians?  Is it more important to be right about other people’s sins? Is it more important to say what they are doing is wrong? Is it more important to choose which sins we don’t agree with and make sure everyone knows our opinion? Or in the end is it more important to just love? To give all the love we can to everyone we meet regardless of all the things they do that make them a sinner. I struggle with this a lot, I am still learning to love like the bible tells us too, it doesn’t happen overnight, and I fall so short. Its Easter time and I think about Jesus dying on the cross for all of our sins. I think about the ultimate way to show someone you love them. Jesus died for us, for all of us, because he loved us. He knew that we were sinners, and that we would never get it right. He died for the people who don’t know him, the people who don’t love him, the people who ridicule him, the people who say he doesn’t exist, he died for Christians, and people of other religions, he died so we would all be saved. He died so that those who believe in him can share that love. 

I don’t have all the answers, I don’t know what God says specifically about the really big topics, but one thing I know for sure is that he tells us to love.

“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: Love your neighbor as yourself. There is no commandment greater than these.”

-Mark 12:30-31

I think about my kids here and the people I want them to be. Their culture is so different than ours, their lives have been so different, they don’t know the things that I do, and they haven’t had the privileges I’ve had. I want to change their lives, show them a better way of doing things, educate them on all the things I can, but at some point I think my job is just to love them. My job is just to get to know the things that make us different, learn from them, change with them, teach them when I can and the best way to do that is to be an example. If I want someone to know about God’s love, than I have to show them God’s love. My job isn’t to fight them and throw the bible in their face because that doesn’t work. You know what does work? Showing people that there is something better out there, something worth living for, something worth dying for. Bringing them to God with my actions and letting Him be the judge. 

I know that I fall short of the Glory of God countless times. I sin as much as humanly possible. I make mistakes that I can’t believe God would forgive. I struggle with the things I read in the bible. I don’t love people like I should; I judge them, hurt them, and talk about them. I don’t love myself like I should. I don’t love God like I should. I am not a good person when it really comes down to it. I know that I waste so much time trying fill this emptiness inside of me with anything and everything but the one thing that will satisfy. I know that God is the only answer for this otherwise empty meaningless life and I still fall short. I can’t help but wonder if maybe that’s how it is for everyone. We are all just here trying to figure out what this all means, making as many mistakes as we can, hurting inside, fighting for things we believe in, and missing the point of it all. There is this God who knows all these things about us, he knows that we are sinners, that we hurt inside, that we are lost, that we are lonely, that we fall short, and he still sent his only son to die for us, because he loves us. That’s what it really comes down to right? That’s what the bible is screaming at us and we still don’t seem to hear it. I’m not saying that it isn’t important to stand up for what you believe in. I’m not saying it isn’t important for people to know about the bible and its teachings. I’m not really saying anything other than what I feel; and what I feel is that our mission is to just love people, bring them to church, show them that even though they screw up they are still loved, believe in them, stop judging them, teach by being an example. People are never going to believe in a God that loves them unconditionally and wants to save them if we aren’t an example of that love.

The kids are home all week for Easter break and I am giving myself a challenge. I am going to spend time with each child and just love them. Love them when they are driving me crazy, love them when they talk back, love them when they are good, love them when they disobey, love them the way they deserve to be loved. I am going to pray for each one of them and thank God for them. I think the thing that people are missing most in their lives is love, and for me, that is the easiest thing that I can give. My life has been so full and I am so blessed. The amount of love, joy, and acceptance that I have had in my life is too much to keep to myself; I want to share it with these kids. I want these children that God has given me to know that they are important, that they are beautiful, that they are wanted, and that they are loved. 

“When are you going back to America?” Ima asks me.

 “Not until December.” I reply.

“Are you coming back?” Asks Elia.

My heart just breaks. Why can’t I be in two places at once? Why can’t I be with my family and friends and with these eleven children that I love? Great things are happening here, and it’s amazing to see God’s hand in it all! There is a lady (that I mentioned before) and she is coming here to live, indefinitely. Her name is Angel, she has a four year old son, and is a Christian counselor. She wasn’t going to come until September, but Kay and Corrinne will be gone so she is coming beginning of May! We are also working on changing the constitution and getting a deed for the 100 acres that were given to Sunrise. The problem is the villagers have to sign everything, and accept all the changes.  Well a man from district and a lawyer came to meet with the village government and explain all the changes, they agree with them all! Next, we are working on finding a new NGO to take over the funds for Sunrise. Corrinne has been looking like crazy for one! Before I came here there was a woman who was planning to take over Sunrise. She decided it wasn’t where she wanted to be, but the NGO who she was working with, says they are still interested in working with Sunrise!! Kay, Corrinne, and I are just so overwhelmed with God’s goodness. Just a month ago things were so tense and we were worried about Sunrise’s future and now everything is falling into place, one thing at a time.

Since this weekend is Easter, we had a class about how Jesus saved the world. We have a children’s bible that we read the story out of, and then we did an art project. We folded our paper hot dog style, and then hamburger style so we had four squares. In the first square was the cross, the second square the tomb, the third square was “Jesus is risen”, and the fourth square was “tell the world”. All the children made one and we had all sorts of interesting pictures. There were purple crosses, blue crosses, green crosses, orange worlds, yellow worlds, and pink worlds. I love doing art projects with children. They are all so different and unique!

The children doing their laundry:

 

"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is- 

his good, pleasing, and perfect will."

-Romans 12:2