“I don’t think anyone aims to be
typical really. Most people even vow to themselves some time in high school or
college not to be typical. But still, they just kind of loop back to it
somehow. Like the circular rails of a train at an amusement park, the scripts we
know offer a brand of security, or predictability, of safety for us. But the
problem is, they only take us where we’ve already been. They loop us back to
the places where everyone can easily go, not necessarily where we were made to
go. Living a different kind of life takes some guts and grit and a new way of
seeing things… When you decide to drop everything that’s typical, all that is
left is just a big idea about an even bigger God and a world that’s worn out from
the way everyone else has been doing it." -Bog Goff
I had a really bad ear infection
this week, and the last couple that I have had, (the last one being when I was
18) have been so painful. Well this one was a chart topper. We were in town
doing the shopping and I had to catch a taxi back. It was a very typical taxi
ride, but when you are in so much pain everything seems that much worse. When I
finally arrived home I just wanted to be in my room to wallow in my pain, and
hide my tears. Angel started to “mother” me, and make sure that I was ok and comfortable
and had what I needed. After 6 months of being the one doing the mothering it
was nice to be the one mothered, no matter how old you are. The next day I felt
a little better, but since we have so many new little ones coming, there was
work that needed to be done. I was outside checking the kids’ cabinets and beds
and making sure things were in order when the boys came home. One of the boys,
Elia, asked me how I was feeling today. I told him I was okay, and then he
said, “Yesterday I pray to God for your ear.” How can you not just love these
kids? How sweet and precious are these gifts from God. I think I can’t possibly
love these kids more than I already do, and yet I still love them more and more
all of the time.
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| Frank (our new boy) and Yona |
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| Sesilia (our new girl) |
We have started adding our new additions to Sunrise! We were only going to take in 4 at this time, but one of the guardians for another child came to the meeting, and Corrinne and I couldn’t turn her away. So now we will have 5 new additions to our growing Sunrise family. (3 Boys, 2 Girls)
When the new children arrived our
“old” children would make sure that they knew where their room was, where to
put their stuff, where to find the shower and bathroom, they taught them about
the chores, they taught them about the points, they taught them everything they
would need to know without even having to be asked. When I open my curtains I
can see the kids in the yard playing. Sesilia, our newest and youngest, was
running around and fell down. Elenesta, one of our older girls, came over and
brushed all of the grass out of her hair, fixed her clothes, and made sure her
jacket was zipped up. It’s so great to see God in these kids. Kids have this
amazing ability to just love, all the time. They don’t discriminate based on
looks, or mistakes, it doesn’t matter what clothes you wear, or what car you
drive, it doesn’t matter if one time you were the “bad guy”, It doesn’t even
matter if you have a lot of stuff, they just know that everyone deserves to be
loved. When you realize that everyone deserves to be loved, certain things just
come naturally; you want to do what you can to help each other, to pray for
each other, to tell someone how much they mean to you, to hug and give kisses,
to constantly be surrounded by people, to always be giving because when you do,
you realize how much you are receiving. Love has this uncanny ability to make
change. It can change a child who is constantly running away, who feels alone,
who feels lost, who feels unwanted, and bring him to a place where he knows he
is home, where he knows he is wanted, where he can smile and be himself, a
place that only love can create. It can change a lost, selfish, American twenty
something year old into a person that won’t settle for mediocrity, that won’t
settle for good enough, that won’t settle for anything less than a love that
does what love does best; make change.
Elisha and I have become great
pals the last 6 months. He is one of my favorites (I have about 11 going on 16),
and he often just wants to sit with me. We don’t do much of anything but sit
and spend time in each other’s company. Well, the other day he hurt his hand and when he came inside he had his head down, hood up, and just came to
stand beside me. I could tell something was wrong so I scooped him up and sat
down with him in my lap. He just sat there with his head nuzzled in the safety
of my neck. I held him like this for probably around forty minutes, just the
two of us, sitting. I think love is like that sometimes too. Sometimes it
doesn’t require a whole lot of effort; it just requires a couple of strong arms
and a safe neck to nuzzle into.
I started reading this book
called, “Love does: Discover a secretly incredible life in an Ordinary World”
By Bob Goff. I think I may have seen this book a time or two; it has a blue
cover with some balloons. It’s about this awesome guy and his life that is full
of love. A love that he saw in others, a love that he shows to others, a love
that takes him places around the world, a love that changes and makes new, but
mostly a love that does. He talks a lot about this guy named Jesus who just
went around loving a whole bunch of people all the time. The more I read about
Jesus, the more I want to know him, the more I want to give my life to him. He
is the only one who asks me to give him all of me, including all the broken
pieces, and then makes it into something beautiful. It might be a work in
progress, and it might be a lifelong project, but he says I am worth it because
he loves me. The even cooler thing about Jesus is that he feels the same about
everyone.
“The challenge that comes into
sharp relief is whether we are willing to give up all we have to follow him, to
know God. Are we willing to trade up? It’s a question worth asking because the
answer will shape your life one way or the other…He asks if we’ll give up that
thing we’re so proud of, that thing we believe causes us to matter in the eyes
of the world, and give it up to follow Him. He’s asking us, ‘Will you take what
you think defines you, leave it behind, and let Me define who you are
instead?’”
-Bob Goff
I find that just agreeing to come
to Tanzania wasn’t all God wants from me, just agreeing to put my life on hold
for a year wasn’t enough, just living in Africa in an orphanage wasn’t enough
either, just waking up every day and living wasn’t enough, just cleaning and
working and doing wasn’t enough, even loving on a bunch of kids wasn’t enough
of me. He wants it all. He wants everything I am ashamed of, every struggle,
every moment of happiness, every moment of sadness, He wants me. What a
beautiful thing to be wanted so intensely by someone, and not just any someone,
but THE SOMEONE.
“I praise you because I am
fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full
well. You know me inside and out, you know every bone in my body; you know
exactly how I was made, bit by bit, how I was sculpted from nothing into
something.”
–Psalm 139:14-15
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